AKWAABA, Welcome to the Chronicles of Kareem/ Prelude to the First Entry

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Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

We Wear the Mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

I have been wanting to blog about my first topic entry (to be posted soon) for a very long time. I am not clear on what really triggered this desire to pursue this seemingly morbid topic but I know that I have started and stopped a few times and have noticed I have felt I needed to be on my "A" game as a writer each time I have thought about finally capturing my thoughts on it.

The waiting I feel has been an incredible blessing in disguise as it has given me the opportunity to discuss the topic with close friends of different persuasions; Inquiring about their thoughts, comforts and discomforts and their convictions about it. I was considering structuring the entry into an academic, heady, cerebral conversation but became immediately aware of how boring it would be to read and what I desire this blog to be – A blog of feeling and not thinking. I want it to be filled with, honesty, cares, uncertainties and fears all of which are a part of the human experience. I do enough cerebral work in my day to day so this is my touch with reality, my release from the prison of cerebration, my fantasy outlet.

Some people may wonder why I would choose the particular topic I would blog about as a first entry (Return if you want to know what it is). Why not something else to draw people in and make this joint more popular and hot. My answer, I want this joint, popular or not, to be a place we can kick off our shoes and be human. I am not trying to be popular with my presentations I care too much about modesty to do that. I just want it to be a place where readers can be brutally humble and get in touch with their humanity and for a lack of a better expression, be creatively naked with me.

We walk around wearing many visible and invisible suits. Parading in ways for which we perceive or rather hope others will accept or acknowledge. We hope to be loved and cherished and wanted so we tend to tell semi truths, coat the harsh realities with a conscious ignorance of their existence. We walk around the room of life fully aware of the huge white elephant in the room but consciously oblivious to its presence and impact. We see it staring us in the face, we often even say hello to it, pat it on the back without making an effort to embrace it as part of the design. It is thus no surprise when that elephant strikes us in one way or another in a bout of rage that we go stumbling trying to find something to ease our pain; something, anything to quench the searing flames of pain. Why wait when we can fully face what is inevitable and find a way to embrace it, if not joyfully, at least realistically.

Before anyone runs away concluding that this blog, like most other blogs is going to be authoritatively instructive and overbearingly pedagogical I will stop and refocus the lens on Kareem. I am not trying to tell anyone how to live life because God knows I struggle daily with mine. I am not trying to be Oprah Winfrey or any other talk show host (even though there is room in this world for them and their shows, God bless them for what they do). I am just trying to provide an honest window through which we can engage these topics not in an abrasive "how to do it" type manual to life but rather in an honest “let's not sweep these fears under the carpet,” type discussion.

I hope this will be a place to take both the visible and invisible coats/masks off. That by me taking mine off you will be encouraged to experience not only my humanity but more importantly your own; that you will fearlessly access the ripe parts of your soul that remains untouched and unharnessed. I invite you happily on this incredible journey. One that will allow us to laugh sometimes, think and be reflective often, cry and be stumped from time to time and above all have an opinion all the time.

There is a Kareem in all of us. This is not just my journey, it is our journey because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am not the only one who ponders these tough questions in the silence of night on my bed, on my train rides, and when I am left alone with my thoughts. What I have learned is that we all just skirt around or ignore them under the declaration that we want to enjoy life or worse that we need not be bothered. I instinctively seem to believe that there is joy in engaging some of the topics we will run across with Kareem in this blog.

This entry begun as my first entry itself which I hope you will all return to read but spiraled to this, hence it being the prelude. I will do my best to stay on topic and not go off tangents but I do want this blog to be honest and fun and filled with truths, feelings and unrehearsed candor so humor me when I go off in the moment. It will allow you more access to the truth that is me, and allow you some access to what is real.

I will end with this. A baby never asks to be born; it is however conceived and born into this beautiful world. My attention was recently drawn to the bittersweet nature of the event that is birth. Two things happen simultaneously when a child is born – Joy and Trauma. To the parents and family it is such a joy, such a relief such happiness. Yay! Another life, another child, grandchild, sister or brother, what a celebration! Interestingly, the one person whose voice and feelings should matter the most, the baby, is silenced. Although it screams because breathing air into its tenderlungs for the first time feels like sharp razor blades released inside its little body, the joy of those “who matter” silence the pain of the one who should matter more.

Let’s face it, we are born into this world traumatized and scream for the answers from birth until death with silence often the only given or worthy response. Depending on how one paints the picture of life it can either be great and exciting or horribly morbid and meaningless. I promise neither of the two extreme portraits. I only ask that you take my hand and allow our experiences and conversations to count and play a role in the way we live daily. That together we can learn to embrace the good and the bad joyfully. Laugh when we are called to do so, cry when we find the opportunity to and be reflective when we need to be. With that, I welcome you to the Chronicles of Kareem and hope you you will visit often.