Anywhere is...
I stole that title from enya's song with the same title. In it she paints so many wonderful pictures with her words about the natural environment and how everything seems to be a cause or contributes to the cause of another and often in a sort of innocent oblivious way. My favorite part of the lyric is when she talks about the moon upon the ocean and how the ocean is swept around in motion but without ever knowing the reason for it's flowing suggesting emotion in the ocean, perhaps an expression of joy to see his good friend the moon, but yet the moon keeps on moving in what in my mind appears to be an oblivious, I-didn't-notice kind of way and the wave keeps on waving and she (Enya) keeps on going.

You may be wondering why I have taken so much time to explain this song and you are probably wondering where I am taking this, be patient with me, tarry a while and perhaps we can get there together. Have you ever wondered why when you experience any type of suffering, loss, disappointment or just pure injustice the pain seems immeasurably severe through the period but then soon after the the period things get better and all seems ever so easy and coping becomes more realistic until the next time another mishap strikes? Some people call it the cycle of life and that perhaps that's just the way life is, but if humans are supposed to learn from our mistakes then shouldn't past experience dictate that no matter what we experience that it is only for a period till the cycle kicks in for another go round? Why then do we experience such anxiety and why does it never make the next pain management through trials a little bit easier?

This is one particular case where I have more questions than answers because I experience such anxieties myself, I daresay more severe than most and each time I hit a rough patch I get extremely unsettled and rattled to the point of dismay where I shake and wonder if God is going to get it right. The thought borders blasphemy but that seems to be what we are saying each time we express utter dismay and despondency, that perhaps we know how life should be going and that the universe and in my case God is getting it wrong with the permutations.

I confess that this is not an original idea of my own, it is one I have come to accept after listening to Dr. Tim Keller preach on the subject and also upon self reflection leading me to concur with this notion that my anxiety is an inherent desire to control my destiny and the steps leading towards it. So perhaps that makes me a control freak but then it seems like I'm not the only one because it appears a lot of people share this experience. So what's so bad about it? Let me throw in another complication, if we are part of creation then can we be blamed for the way we are wired, does the fault fall to us. I know some people have a ready answer and perhaps the answer is that there is original sin and that sin wired us that way but I don't think that is often a completely acceptable answer to the question of self blame for many people especially people who are not believers of the bible. The question then becomes whether we should care about what people who cannot grasp and accept the concept of original feel or think, I mean *shrug* take it or leave it, that's the truth whether you like it or not right? For some reason that doesn't seem to settle well with me. And I admit that as I grow and learn, some things that I didn't completely understand at one point continue to make more sense to me. So perhaps one day I will be just ok with that that's-that reasoning whether you like it or not, but for now I see something a little more that may not be completely convincing but a little comforting and that's where the Enya song may help.

The beauty of the picture of the moon and the tide is that regardless the number of times the moon ignores the waves it does not deter the waves from excitement upon seeing the moon. It may be a bit of a stretch but perhaps the stretch along with our response maybe a wiring we cannot shake, well you wrote all this only to say nothing other than that we were wired that way you might ask, but perhaps someone needs to hear that and until the truth of original sin breaks through that will sustain them knowing that anywhere is. The idea of being born onto earth inadequate and so man having this constant need to make ourselves better is traumatic and doesn't make sense at first but the only resource that provides some sort answer is that of the fall of man. However if you are sitting there thinking that that truth is going to make sense then you will be disappointed because that truth requires a little more than just logic to be acceptable