My Aching Heart

Somewhere a heart cries

A wound so deep that it won’t heal

A gush so numbing that I cannot feel

I reach for everything and anything to make this pain that is numbing go away

But nothing works and my heart is wide open

There was a time when I was strong but that time is not now

A moment when my feet were sturdy when I was certain that love was all sustaining

That moment with all its power is certainly not now

Because I am shaking with the uncertainty of tomorrow the fear of all those losses

I hurt, I’m in pain and my heart refuses to be comforted

It’s like a fresh wound that because tomorrow hasn’t come taunts me with the threat of never healing

All of a sudden I am questioning so much

Why did I ever believe that it could get better?

I listen to all the songs that artists have concocted to potentially make this moment less agonizing but nothing works

God that I may lay in your arms and run away from this pain it’s too much

No one person must feel like this

Could this be fair, really?

I can’t sleep with this open wound

I mourn the things I have lost the things that I am yet to lose and the things I’m losing

I’m desperately trying to hang on, that comfort would come out of somewhere

That I could see something to suggest hope

I feel like I’m in the eye of the endless deep and nothing is happening

Before I lay me down to sleep with this heavy heart I will sing a song

I will find the strength to muster the tune of a love song

So that even if I don’t feel it, my spirit will hear it and hopefully find some comfort

For tonight, a heart cries

My heart cries